.Editor's Note: The adhering to is actually the content of a character from Exploration Three Commander Frank L. Culbertson (Captain, USN Retired), reflecting on the events of September 11.September 12, 2001 7:34 p.m.I have not composed significantly concerning specifics of the mission throughout the month I have actually been below, generally for 2 main reasons: the 1st being actually that there has actually been very little time to do that sort of writing, as well as the second thing is considering that I am actually unsure just how pleasant I am sharing thought and feelings I share with friends and family along with the rest of the globe.Properly, undoubtedly the planet changed today. What I state or even carry out is incredibly minor contrasted to the implication of what occurred to our nation today when it was actually assaulted through ... through whom? Terrorists is all we understand, I reckon. Hard to understand at whom to point our rage and also anxiety ...I had simply ended up an amount of activities today, the most time-consuming being the physical examinations of all crew participants. In a private discussion adhering to that, the flight plastic surgeon told me they were actually having an extremely bad time on the ground. I possessed no idea ...He illustrated the circumstance to me as ideal he knew it at ~ 0900 CDT. I was flabbergasted, after that alarmed. My initial idea was that this wasn't a real chat, that I was actually still paying attention to among my Tom Clancy strips. It only really did not seem to be feasible on this scale in our country. I could not even imagine the particulars, even prior to the news of more destruction began being available in.Vladimir visited pretty swiftly, picking up that something very serious was being actually explained. I swayed Michael right into the component at the same time. They were actually likewise astounded and also stunned. After our company authorized off, I tried to explain to Vladimir and Michael as ideal I can the prospective magnitude of this show of terror in downtown New york as well as at the Government. They plainly knew as well as were extremely compassionate.I eyed the Planet Map on the personal computer to view where over the world our team were and observed that our company were actually happening southeast out of Canada and would certainly be actually skipping New England in a couple of mins. I whized around the terminal until I discovered a home window that will offer me a perspective of NYC as well as took hold of the closest video camera. It took place to be a camera, as well as I was appearing south coming from the home window of Michael's cabin.The smoke seemed to be to possess a weird blossom to it at the foundation of the pillar that was actually streaming south of the urban area. After reading among the newspaper article our team merely got, I feel we were considering NY around the amount of time of, or soon after, the collapse of the second high rise. Just how unpleasant ...I scanned the video camera during the East Coast to the south to view if I could possibly see some other smoke around Washington, or anywhere else, yet nothing at all showed up.It was quite challenging to think about job afterwards, though our experts had some to carry out, yet on the following track we moved across the United States additional south. All three people were actually working a couple of cameras to try to acquire viewpoints of Nyc or even Washington. There was actually haze over Washington, but no details resource can be seen. All of it appeared awesome from a couple of hundred miles away. I can not think of the terrible scenes on the ground.Other than the mental influence of our country being dealt with and also thousands of our consumers and perhaps some close friends being actually killed, one of the most difficult feeling being where I am actually is among isolation.Following day ... I presume the tiredness and psychological pressure acquired the most effective of me. I couldn't remain awake as well as continue to write. Today was actually still hard, however we started getting even more relevant information, plus we had the respect of chatting directly along with the Facility Director, Roy Estess, who ensured our team that the ground groups would continue to work as well as ensure our protection, and also the safe operation of the Place. Our experts also spoke with our Supervisor, Mr. Goldin, that incorporated that the companions in the Plan are all totally dedicated to proceeding secure functions and also support. These were actually certainly never concerns for me. I recognize all these people! The ground staffs have actually been astonishingly supporting, extremely understanding of the influence of the information, and have actually tried to be as helpful as feasible. They have all been extremely specialist and also concentrated though I can not picture the interruption of the kind of information coming in and the thought that authorities properties may be at risk. They never ever missed a beat, even when transferring nerve center. As well as a group of elderly personnel as well as close friends gave our company a rather comprehensive rundown about what was recognized as well as what was actually being actually done in the government and at NASA on Tuesday afternoon, which was incredibly useful and kind of all of them to perform in the middle of all the chaos. The Russian TsUP has additionally been helpful and useful, making an effort to uplink newspaper article when our very own assets were inoperable, as well as claiming kind phrases ...My crewmates have been terrific, also. They know it's been a hard day for me and the individuals on the ground, and they have actually made an effort to be as also keeled as well as practical as achievable. Michael even fixed me my favorite Borscht soup for dinner. As well as they offer me loads of area to think when I required it. They are actually quite considerate and also obviously shocked at whoever would certainly perform this.I know numerous folks in Washington, numerous people that travel to DC and New York City, many that are captains, that I experienced sure I would acquire at least a handful of items of trouble over the upcoming handful of days. I received the very first one today when I discovered that the Captain of the American Airlines plane that reached the Pentagon was actually Chic Burlingame, a schoolmate of mine. I came across Chic during the course of cadet summer months when our team resided in the D&B together, and we possessed lots of classes all together. I can not picture what he must of gone through, and also now I listen to that he might possess risen additionally than our team can easily also consider through probably stopping his aircraft coming from being the one to attack the White Residence. What an awful reduction, but I ensure Chic was combating bravely throughout. As well as rips do not stream the very same precede ...It is actually hard to illustrate just how it really feels to be the only American fully off the planet each time such as this. The feeling that I should be there along with each of you, dealing with this, helping in some way, is difficult. I recognize that our experts are on the threshold (or beyond) of a terrible switch in the background of the globe. A lot of traits will definitely never coincide once more after September 11, 2001. Not only for the 1000s and countless individuals directly influenced through these ghastly process of terrorism, but most likely for all of us. Our experts are going to locate ourselves experiencing in a different way regarding dozens of traits, including perhaps area expedition, however.It is actually horrible to find smoke cigarettes putting from injuries in your personal country coming from such a great vantage point. The dichotomy of performing a space probe dedicated to boosting life on the planet and watching lifestyle being actually ruined through such willful, horrible process is jolting to the subconscious, no matter that you are. As well as the know-how that whatever are going to be different than when our experts introduced due to the opportunity our experts land is actually a little bit of disconcerting. I have confidence in our country and in our leadership that our company will certainly perform whatever feasible to far better protect her and our family members, as well as to deliver fair treatment for what has actually been actually performed. I possess self-confidence that the really good people at NASA will do every thing important to proceed our mission properly as well as return us carefully at the correct time. And also I miss out on each one of you quite. I can't exist along with you face to face, and also our company have a long way to visit accomplish our goal, but be particular that my heart is actually with you, as well as understand you reside in my petitions.Humbly, Frank.September 14, 2001 10:49 p.m. An upgrade to the final character ... Thankfully, it's been actually an active week up below. And also to prove that, like our country, our company are continuing our designated road with company customarily (as much as achievable). Tonight the current add-on to the station, the Russian Docking Area will definitely be actually released from Baikonur, Kazakhstan. On Sunday night (United States opportunity), it is going to dock along with our team, at a port never utilized before on the low point edge of the Solution Element. This new element will definitely offer our company one more place to dock a Development or Soyuz and will certainly give a sizable airlock along with 2 able to be used hatches for performing EVA's in Russian Orlan fits, which our company are going to perform a few of just before our experts get home.The complication prior to in dealing with recently was actually too little news. The complication today is actually too much. It arrived simultaneously when e-mail was actually recovered, and there is actually not enough opportunity to read all of it! Plus it's also difficult to manage all of it simultaneously. But I cherish obtaining it, and also I definitely enjoy the great characters of support and relationship I am receiving.Our experts are flourishing aboard, acquiring our job performed, as well as talking about things. Final night our team possessed a lengthy conversation over supper concerning the significance of these activities, the feasible activities to observe, and also what must be actually performed. After supper, Michael resolved telling me that every email he got from close friends in Russia mentioned exclusively to inform me how sorry they were that this happened, expanding their acknowledgements, and inquiring how I was carrying out. Vladimir educated me the Russian term for "condolences" after talking with the previous CDR, Yuri Usachev, on the phone in Superstar Urban area. (Both the Russian and the English terms are a lot very long to verbalize conveniently.) Quite type folks.For the final pair of days, the Russian MCC has actually sufficed to transfer online programs of radio information regarding the activity as well as associated tales, to make certain I was effectively educated. Every professional who has begun the line to review a procedure or a concern has at some factor extended introductions to me along with kind words. Tonight the Russian capcom told our company that due to the wedding of recognition in the US, all day folks had been actually carrying blooms and also lining all the walls of the United States embassy in Moscow, and also this night they were lighting candles in the street outside the consulate. Just how the globe has altered.People almost everywhere seem to be to realize the senselessness and also terror within this attack. And also the incredible loss. Moscow has handled these sort of complications in the final couple of years along with apartment as well as subway bombings, so they are as anxious to eliminate this threat as our experts are actually. However all-time low collection is that there are actually excellent individuals anywhere that wish to stay in tranquility. I review that a little one inquired, "America is therefore really good to other countries, our team regularly help everyone, how can they detest us so much?".I really hope the example of collaboration and count on that this space capsule plus all people in the system demonstrate daily will someday encourage the remainder of the world to function the same way. They must!However, we won't be actually taking flight over the United States while people are igniting candle lights. Do not recognize if our team can see that in any case. Our company carried out, however, see a very unique as well as beautiful view a few minutes ago: the launch of our Docking Chamber on a Soyuz booster. Our team were surpassing it as well as it came into view about 3 mins after its own launch from Baikonur as the sun attacked our terminal, so it was actually still in the dark. It resembled a huge comet with a straight, vast rear silhouetted versus the black earth beneath. In spite of some bad lighting fixtures for a while as the sunlight struck our window at a low viewpoint, I dealt with some online video of it as first we passed the spacecraft, and then watched it begin to mesmerize as it got height and speed. I filmed till main motor cutoff as well as enhancer separation took place just as our team approached dawn on the Mountain ranges. An extraordinary sight in a remarkable week ...Lifestyle goes on, also in space. We're here to stay ... Frank.